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| Since I didn't have anything of major value to report in my little life-changing project, I've decided to bestow upon you something that I wrote while mourning the brief loss of my internet connection.Here's a little backstory: I ran into my old roommate Ty last Thursday at Drag Night.I told him I'd taken up writing again, and was subsequently trying my hand at finishing a novel I started ages ago.He got all excited and said he's just love to be in a book I wrote.Now, anyone who knows Ty knows he's a character (to say the least).So, the next day I wrote him up as a character study.It's just a first draft, but here's what I came up with...Ty, My Old Roommate and Most Favoritest Person In PhiladelphiaTy is one of those anomalies of the gayborhood-- "Gayberry" I like to call the four square blocks of the city, Walnut to Spruce, Broad to 11th-- that nobody quite understands, but everyone adores.A 90 pound waif of an African American male, Ty glides effortlessly onto the scene in the most fabulous designer heels that always compliment his big crazy handbags.Those bags sometimes weigh more than he does.I have no idea how he keeps from toppling over sideways sometimes.Remember that one sad episode of America's Next Top Model when Tyra made all the girls wear those ridiculously high Vivian Westwood heels on the runway and every single one of them lost balance and fell over?Well, Ty will throw on a pair of those with his boy-shorts and run to the store for a soda.Let me tell you all something: When he does, he Owns, Bitches!Don't get confused, though.Ty is not a trans-anything.He is a man, and he prefers to be addressed as such; even and especially when he's rocking his Chinese kimono dress and cigarette pants.He's a guy who wears pretty outfits.Ty is simply Ty, and to know him is to have the time of your life in his presence.Ty does not simply attend the party, he's of the party.Is the party.I speak from experience when I tell you that he can turn a simple game of cards among friends into "that time with Ty."Despite the naturally catty nature of our hood, Ty never has a hard word for anyone.Honestly, I don't think there's room in that tiny frame of his for hostility.He calls everyone "Baby", uses the word the way frat boys use "Dude".(Duuude!)The running joke and absolute truth is you can judge Ty's level of intoxication by how many Babies he throws into a sentence.I swear to you he once said to me: Baby, it's just..You know, Baby..It's just Oh, Baby, you get it right?Good times...Baby.The funny thing is, I totally understood what he was saying at the time.Ty and I officially became friends one hung-over afternoon last August.I was in my darkest pair of Dior glasses, searching for a strong cup of coffee to wash down a matched set of Extra-Strength Tylenol when he came prancing up to me all open-toed Kenneth Coles and a wrist-full of bangles."Baby!"He exclaimed, throwing his arms around my neck. |
| He exclaimed, throwing his arms around my neck.That's the thing about Ty.It doesn't matter how long it's been since he's seen you last.He always squeals as though it's been years.He also speaks almost exclusively in exclamation-points."Baby, it was so COOL hanging out with you last night!""Um What?""You were fabulous, Baby!"He continued, as though I had any idea what I was talking about."Remember, at Pure?"The only thing I remember about going to Pure the night before is that when I woke up this particular morning I discovered I was wearing their wristband and asked myself : I went to Pure last night?"Yeah, about Pure last night" I said, scratching my wrist where the paper band had been, "I saw you last night?"Hmm..I remember those two Kamikazes with Whatshisname at bump last night."You're a riot, Baby!"He laughed."Are we going to see you tonight?DJ Soandso is spinning.It's gonna be a good time."Then it was that horrible woman's birthday at TOC.Being around her always requires a shot or three."Um"After that we had pomegranate margaritas at El-Vez.Those were yummy."I have to run, Baby.I'll see you tonight.Muah!"I very vaguely recall dancing at Woody's.But, Pure?Hmm"Bye, Sweetie!"I called after him, in my best "I know what the hell you were just talking about" voice, "See you tonight!"Wait His name was Ty, right?Well, at least I'm a fun blackout drunk...The following winter, Ty and I were sharing an adorable lofted apartment just around the corner from all our favorite places.?Those were nights to remember!(It's a shame I can't, if you get my drift...)I have this picture of the two of us sitting together at the kitchen table.?It was taken after a long night of pink drinks and dancing.?At first glance it looks like an average photo of two people with their arms around eachother in a friendly pose.?However, upon further inspection you'll note that we're actually holding eachother up!?The truth is, if one of us moved even an inch, the other was going to face plant on the table.Haha..I'd post it here, but I look like grim death. |
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