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| Mr. J and I have been doing some house stuff for the last month or so.?We first did our bedroom in a lovely pale mint green with chocolate colored trim.?Very "mint chocolate chip icecream."?He picked the colors and I love it.?For the living room, we have a lighter brown with the same chocolate brown trim.?It, too, turned out very well.?Tonight we finished the living room.?While I was painting, my mind soon wandered into thoughts of the internet.For whatever reason, I thought about a friend I had at one time who later left 'space.?We had met through a couple of blogs, and soon became friends.?Eventually, she and I exchanged phone numbers and often talked during the week.?And because the 'space is just that insidious, our conversations often centered on the events on the internet.If it's not one addiction, it's another.On one occasion, as she and I talked, she mentioned that she had unsubscribed from half of the blogs to which she had been subscribed."Why did you do that?"I remember asking, confused that she would delete so many at one time."Well, they never read or comment on my blog."I understood exactly what she meant.During my time on 'space, my relationship with this community has often gone in circles.?I started reading the blogs to meet people and form my own network, and eventually people that I met became friends.?At a time when I had just started blogging, I wanted more readers.?Who doesn't??Through faithful comments, slowly my readership grew.?At the same time, I notices that the "top bloggers" to which I first subscribed never visited my blog.?Eventually, I unsubscribed with righteous indignation that they couldn't even be bothered to read my blog.?There was no reciprocity.?Interestingly enough, I eventually, one blog at a time, resubscribed to each one, because I missed their blogs.? |
| Interestingly enough, I eventually, one blog at a time, resubscribed to each one, because I missed their blogs.?In other words, I got over it.?So, when my friend cited the lack of reciprocity for the reason to cull her subscription list, I could relate.?At the same time, I asked, "Well, did you invite them to read your blog."?After a brief pause, she responded, "Well, no."What the hell?If she never issued the invite, I wondered, how can she be angry that they did not read her blog?She insisted that that wasn't the point, that she had subscribed to their blog without being asked, and that the bloggers to whom she had subscribed should know whether their readers have blogs on their own.?She might have had some valid points there, and I was willing to concede that, in a perfect world, it would be nice if people showed the same interest that others show in them.?But this isn't a perfect world, and the insane thing about the internet is that you can go from having Tom only to having hundreds or thousands of "friends."?How can anyone keep up with that??And is that really a good reason to unsubscribe?Maybe.Maybe not.?Here's my opinion on the subject.?Assuming that you subsribed to a blog without first being invited, there is every possibility that you subscribed because you enjoyed their writing.?One day, you realize that you had never seen a blogger leave a comment in your blogs, so you delete them.?I don't agree with that tactic.?In fact, for myself, there are several checkpoints I will go through before unsubscribing from a blog.?First, I might send the blogger the basic blog invite.?Often, if the blogger knows that I comment religiously, that will be enough to motivate them to go over to my newest blog to check it out.?Other times, the blogger doesn't respond at all.?I don't think much of that, either, and I certainly don't hold it against them.?Theoretically, one could get hundreds of blog invites a day, and not the, "I greatly respect your opinions and would love your thoughts on the blog I read" type of way.?No, I am talking about the generic invite.?If you receive numerous invites from people you have never seen before, there is little incentive to go to check out their blog. |
| If you receive numerous invites from people you have never seen before, there is little incentive to go to check out their blog.Hell, I was talking to Mr. J this evening about the fact that I had been checking out the rankings.?He rolled his eyes at me, and deservedly so, but I clarified that I had received a lot of friend and blog invites today.?Anytime that happens one of your friends has pimped you, or you are in the rankings.?So, yes, I checked.And there I was.?Mystery concerning the sudden deluge of invites solved.?Sometimes I will go and read, but sometimes, I won't.?It's not because I am better, or that your writing is less significant.?It's just that there is no relationship there.Focus, A.Sorry for the rambling.?When I subscribe to a blog, I don't expect the blogger to automatically read mine, much less subscribe, so I am not offended when that happens.?When I send a blog invite, with no personalized message added, I don't really resent them for not accepting.?I have become quite flexible in that regard lately.?I don't even loathe "firsts" anymore.But, you know, there truly is a line, and I submit that this is a pretty good indicator of whether you should unsubscribe or not.It's all about the personalized invite and the lack of any acknowledgment.?Seriously.?Let's say I read your blog every single day and compulsively come back to read the comments.?I care about the issues you blog about.?I just enjoy you.?One day, I write about something in response to your blog, so I take a minute to write to let you know that I had addressed that issue on my blog.?For most people, this personalized invite is much appreciated, because we do want to know what is going on with others.?It's a reminder to them that their readers have thoughts, too.After sending that private message providing the reasons I would like for that person to give me their thoughts, I wait.?There are people on my subscription list who have never bothered to acknowledge the private message I have sent.? |
| There are people on my subscription list who have never bothered to acknowledge the private message I have sent.?I read them daily, but they can't respond to my own request for input?It happens.?For me, THAT is the point at which I consider unsubscribing permanently.?Not because my little feeling are hurt that they didn't leave me any kudos, but because I consider them a friend.?When I tell a friend that I wrote something I would like for them to read, it is just common courtesy to respond.?Those who don't only reveal exactly how little regard for their readers.?No reciprocity.?Yeah, at that point, it's time to go.When it comes to my blog and my friends, I know I am not subscribed to each person's blog.?I have never trolled through looking to see whether they have blogs, or not.?I am inherently leery of the blind blog invite from people I don't know, but when a friend sends me one, I will check it out as soon as possible.But no one's perfect.?Nor is the fact that I don't read your blog a reflection of my disdain for your writing.?I just might not know it's there.Please send invites.?A note is nice, but if you are here and you are a friend, the blind invite is more than sufficient.?No one likes to be ignored, and I respect that.?But if you delete your subscription to my blog without ever giving a reason, under a theory that I don't read your blog alone, I think that is unfair.?You have to speak up.?Let me know something is important to you, and I will try to help.Tell me nothing of your expectations, and the only thing left is mutual frustration.?No one wants that kind of duality or reciprocity.What are your thoughts??Am I way offbase?? |
| Am I way offbase??Do you have your own formula to determine when you move on??Just wondering. |
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